"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
I don't know why this song makes me feel so sad. Especially since I don't think it applies in my life at all, since I am generally a heartless bitch.
Every time I see this song, I'm reminded about "The One That Got Away" music video by Katy Perry hahaha that was so sad honestly.
And some things I hate the most are regretting not doing something, and saying goodbye. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you" is full of regret for not expressing their love while they still could. And "Please don't take my sunshine away" is showing how they don't have a choice whether the person they love stays or not.
If I believed in soulmates (which I don't think I do), it may be that I innately know that my soulmate has already gone forever.
Sigh. Thoughts. Feelings.
Honestly so depressed right now for no good reason. Maybe it's because I have no sunshine to be taken away in the first place. And again, it's a self-defence mechanism to not open my heart fully to anybody, so I can't get hurt. What made me like this?
Sigh.
To whoever is reading, wherever you are, and whether you know me personally or not, please don't feel unnecessarily sad over this post.
Friday, March 24, 2017
Some CD
Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidential.
When we say that we need more manpower, that we need more people, that we need more brains to think together, we mean it.
We're not lazy. Recently, I scrolled back up through our chat, and I saw that every single day, we would be discussing a future plan, an event to be held. We work hard, we contribute, and while the cogs and the gears in the head are burning with overuse, they are sitting calmly in their seats, waiting for the fruits of our labour.
And it's not like they are always satisfied.
So, why? On the basis that there shouldn't be too many people in positions of power, you want to minimise our size?
I thought we were cultivating heroes here, in this day and age. Why don't you give them the experience they need?
We're doing the best we can, but there's so much more in life than this too. For some of us, we have large commitments elsewhere as well.
And most scary, to me, is the power of that one person. The decision-maker, the keeper. The one who can shut us down or let us pass. And it's like he doesn't see our work at all, sometimes. Like we are never good enough. And we have to hide how terribly tired we are, as that keeps us safe from his careless "you chose this path". Not even the gentle breeze of "you're working so hard" can soothe that.
Enough rambling. More work.
When we say that we need more manpower, that we need more people, that we need more brains to think together, we mean it.
We're not lazy. Recently, I scrolled back up through our chat, and I saw that every single day, we would be discussing a future plan, an event to be held. We work hard, we contribute, and while the cogs and the gears in the head are burning with overuse, they are sitting calmly in their seats, waiting for the fruits of our labour.
And it's not like they are always satisfied.
So, why? On the basis that there shouldn't be too many people in positions of power, you want to minimise our size?
I thought we were cultivating heroes here, in this day and age. Why don't you give them the experience they need?
We're doing the best we can, but there's so much more in life than this too. For some of us, we have large commitments elsewhere as well.
And most scary, to me, is the power of that one person. The decision-maker, the keeper. The one who can shut us down or let us pass. And it's like he doesn't see our work at all, sometimes. Like we are never good enough. And we have to hide how terribly tired we are, as that keeps us safe from his careless "you chose this path". Not even the gentle breeze of "you're working so hard" can soothe that.
Enough rambling. More work.
Friday, March 17, 2017
Dream
"I know that you're not real." I whisper.
He hands me a cup of sweet nothingness, motioning for me to drink. I do.
With him, it's just so easy to just sink into a comfortable, serene happiness. But I know that he treats everybody else like this, too.
"Don't be so nice, if you're just going to leave each time," I say, even while my fingers helplessly intertwine with his. He is hidden in shadows, but I can feel a hesitant look cross his face.
He begins to speak, but I talk over him, "You always give me such delightful memories, but they're never actually real. Stop teasing me, will you?"
He is silent, perhaps remorseful. I won't admit, outright, that I'm hopelessly confused by him, but I think he understands.
"~end~"
Others have come, attracted to you. If you agree with me, then I think I should go.
As I say goodbye, you conjure up some more things that leave me thinking, so that I wouldn't dwell on you.
It almost worked.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)