Monday, December 30, 2013

loneliness

sometimes I feel a little lonely.

so alone.

it's a terrible, hollow, empty feeling.

but I like being by myself sometimes? idk. independently dependent.

I don't want people to judge me. T^T

what is ideal? one being true to others no matter how much it hurts others and/or oneself, or one faking to others to possibly avoid hurting others and/or oneself? if someone would answer that question and provide an extremely logical reasoning... I would thank that someone.

on a lighter note, I like white chocolate lol.

life is complicatedly simple.

life is ironic.

~lynnette

Sunday, December 29, 2013

I'm perfectly content with talking to myself.

I'm in S3-08.

okay I'm busted. goodnight guys <3

-lynn

Friday, December 27, 2013

lies.

life goes on.

trust me...

I feel like cyber-shouting 'die die die die' somewhere.

and 'oh fgs shut up'

arienai?

don't get tictac holiday twist unless you like liquorice and mint.

unchained melody

'Her lonely heart waits for the one.
To touch her hair,
To brush his fingers across her tender lips,
To only look into her beautiful eyes...
He would give his all.'

I think that's pretty.

I can't wait to get a car and a driving license lol

I don't even bother to comb my hair for the whole day sometimes lol #shorthair #isawesome

MOMENT OF TRUTH

I love cha soba.

ROSYTH

here are a few memories I would like to keep.

rosyth library:

1. I remember taking out a huge disney book (lady and the tramp I think) from the front shelf on the third floor. that was when I was p1, and my buddy was still with me or something. she was in p5.

2. I remember eating gummy bears at the back of the third floor with xiao shyan and jia qi and kelly... maybe rachel and roxanne and esther and amanda too.

3. I remember learning the sign language from a book in the library too with xiao shyan and jia qi and kelly... it was fun. 'emergency'

4. I remember stealing yongyi's shoe and running off with it to the girls' toilet and hiding it there. I remember talking to him as we sat together near the top of the stairs.

5. I remember borrowing percy jackson books from the librarian (it was at the front desk because it was such a popular series)

6. I remember helping the librarian with the call numbers on the shelves.

7. I remember doing homework and preparing debate speeches at the first floor. or at the second floor's roundish tables. with michelle and xuan rong and some of the gep people.

8. I remember reading a lot of cathy cassidy books, my favourite being lucky star.

9. I remember... playing hide and seek.

10. I remember weaving paper hearts.

rosyth library was awesome. I'll visit it next year and hope it hasn't changed a lot.

hey ^^

quick update :)

it's back to school for me in less than a week

oh no xD

I won't be blogging much next year (hopefully) my beloved blog, do stop me from posting on you ^^

I like stalking other blogs though :P if anyone really reads this blog, tell me the link of your blog :P tell me on facebook or twitter or ask.fm (tell me not to post the question if you mind your blog link going public) or text me or carrier pigeon or owl mail or just mail it to me

I'm not even kidding.

let's talk about shopping! I hate shopping. (blogshopping is fun though) I don't like trying on clothes xD it's soooo mafan. so here are some tips when going shopping:

1. wear a tshirt and shorts. through personal experience, jeans material shorts that have pockets big enough to fit my phone and wallet and necessities and keys are awesome.

2. or wear a dress. that's easily removable and... put-on-able.

3. grab a few sizes at a time, if the place allows it. it's a pain to run in and out of changing rooms, especially if the store is crowded.

4. don't hesitate grabbing whatever you like

5. you'll be surprised at how much you can spend at one go. save up lots or get a sponsor :P (like my awesome mum)

that concludes today's section of #lynnetteadvice that #youshouldnotlistento

though I've never met you in real life, I think I want to.

I'M RADIOACTIVE, RADIOACTIVE

here's something from long ago:

Time according to mac: 3:54:27am
What was I doing beforehand: watching youtube videos. CONNOR FRANTA IS SO CUTE xD
Chats on facebook: no one at all, it's almost 4am! :O Kenneth messaged me hold on lemme check it
Listening to: (in my head) radioactive. and just give me a reason.
Status: bored, a little sleepy, paranoid that my mum'll come and chase me to go to sleep

I wanna draw a phoenix. give me a little time, I promise I'll edit this post and add a picture of it later ;)






































((long story short, my camera quality suddenly shitted up))

I think there's lots of improvements to make == this is quite terrible.

byebye~ lynnoes

Thursday, December 26, 2013

cough

before I start on the content of this post, I will go back to my letter to my future self (technically me now because I'm in the future) and add 'university' to the introduction paragraph. brb :3

DONEEEEE

btw, I don't ever fall asleep without meaning to. I just can't. lol though sometimes I'm just tired and decide to take a 'little' nap.

now today I'd like to remember some of the dreams I had in the past.

my earliest memory of a dream would be the monopoly man standing/dancing on top of the changi airport tower thing. I might have made that up or something haha I don't know. they say what you remember from before 3 years of age were probably made up and I remember that dream happening when I was about 3

my most recent dream I remember is trying to catch a crocodile and succeeding. the crocodile liked me lol. I kept it in my house where my washing machine is now and apparently I've always had a small pondish thing there running under my floor and also in front of the toilet. we used a tub with mossy stuff in it to try to catch the crocodile at first but I realised it was easier when I sort of made friends with another smaller crocodile. and crocodiles were also apparently abundant around my hdb estate

the next most recent dream I remember is me locking some burglar in my own house and running to my cousin's house. it included pushing my dad and bro (who was home for some reason) down an 'emergency escape route' which looked like the rubbish chute. and I couldn't convince my mum to do that so we locked up the house WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED SOME WEIRD DREAM.

so we locked up the house and trapped the burglar inside (I forgot there was an emergency escape route)... I also remember the burglar laughing at me or something and saying something like 'forget it! I don't want to steal anything anymore! just let me go!' as he was getting sick of me and my mum arguing about going down the escape route or something. I remember him being violent and scary at the start lol but that got illogical when I took so much time to push my dad and bro down the escape route and he was just standing there not doing anything

the weird dream:
I was wandering around my hdb flat... I forgot... but it was weird... and it looked almost nothing like what mine actually does. I remember an old lady/couple neighbour? I don't know... the fifth and ninth floor seemed significant in that dream though...

as I was saying.... (I'll just continue typing my previous previous previous paragraph)

I also dreamt that I had to go to jail (this was when I was at Jiawen's house and we just played monopoly and we all had to keep going to jail) it wasn't so much about the jail part, it was about saying goodbye to everyone like it was the last thing I could say to them. I woke up suddenly as the police people dragged me off when I hadn't finished my goodbyes.

one of my happiest dreams was when I was in p6. I was dancing around in a circle with the girls in my class under the sunshine in a grass patch (looked like my grandma's house's backyard) and we were all happy. it meant a lot to me, as the girl who hates/hated me was there and she was happy too.

one of my quite recent dreams was some weird... thing. I was running away from some event in the middle of it, with people chasing me, and I somehow ran to and hid in this big shop full of survival things or whatever. I mean, the shop was huge and had everything and someone told me it was sponsored or something. then after a certain time the other people arrived (those that I recognised and remember were mostly my current levelmates) and we somehow knew we were going on a trip to the sahara desert. soooo we were supposed to choose whatever we liked from the shop to pack and take with us to survive. I chose a tent, sleeping bag, this thermal mat thing. then my friend was like, you haven't packed food and water. so I got 2 large bottles of water, packets of polar snacks (telling myself it was smart as I needed the salt as I would be sweating a lot or something) and packets of those round biscuits that melt in your mouth (telling myself it'd be less dry than regular biscuits or some reason due to weird lynnette logic) then some teacher told me that I should bring something more practical or something, then I looked around and saw everyone bringing cup noodles and I was like dafuq ._. stupid fools. then I walked to the dog food aisle and I was like... can I eat dog food ._. then I turned and saw packets of jelly and I was like 'perfect! this at least has some moisture and won't be so dry' then I had a dilemma over whether it was dry jelly or wet jelly then I woke up.

I had this dream I hardly remember, about being in a giant white... space. it was filled with 3D shapes and random objects and gravity sort of didn't exist. I was in a.. corner in the space. I remember interacting with the objects, but how and what effect it had, I forgot. I was also in this space, in this corner, when I was making friends with my crocodile in the other dream, except gravity seemed to exist in that dream.

I also have a vague memory of a dream about being on a beach with thousands of large black oysters in shallow water (there didn't seem to be anything beyond that shallow water) and I was prying them open, getting black pearls. I remember a mother figure there or something, and a brother about the same age as me... I'm not sure if that dream was linked to my next dreams that I'm gonna talk about.

I had this dream place a while back, which I dreamt about two times. I forgot a lot about it, but I remember talking about it to some people back then, so it should be in my facebook chats somewhere. anyway, in those two dreams, I had a brother of about the same age as me. we both had a pet that was also our aura (sort of) and ours were either a black cat or a white terrier (can't remember who got who). we had a house or something and there were two doors in the house. one led to this tunnel thing (not underground, I think it was made of blue clear plastic)... that led to a playground. the other door, I don't really remember.

the first dream, we were just running around or something. I forgot. the second dream, there was a bully at the playground and we did something to help the bullied group of children or something, if I remember correctly.

okay that's all for today. I'm tired :) christmas was good. I relived my childhood for a moment with those handgames we used to play.

signing off with a kiss,
lynn

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

:)

I just read through almost all my blog posts and I feel better now.

hey, me-in-the-future. if you ever decide to read through your blog posts again, let me tell you something.

Dear Me (In The Future)

How's everything going? Depending on when you're reading this, how's school/work? If you're still in SST, jiayou for 'O's! If you're in JC/poly/pre-university/university, did you get into my dream school? And if you already have a job, congratulations! I really wonder what job you have now. Is it giving you freedom? I don't know about you, but I hate being tied down, and I promised myself to never to get a nine to five office job. You might have broken that promise. Or maybe you're unemployed. Don't despair, alright?

I just want to say... Don't give up. No matter what life throws at you. Do you still believe that whatever happens, it's supposed to happen and you should just be happy because happiness is a choice? Something happened to me today. I realised that I simply cannot be happy if someone I care about is not. So I hope you are making others, and yourself, happy.

Don't do it at the expense of your own feelings though. Be a little selfish. But not too selfish. Don't lie at all though. Be honest to yourself and others. I promise, it's important. I hope you aren't laughing at your childish 14 year old self. I feel very old at the moment, you know? JK. But still... I believe you're a better person than I am now. Sorry for telling you useless/lame/obvious information. Are you ridiculing me now? I would if I were you. This is quite silly, isn't it?

Do you have friends? Are mum and dad still with you? Do you still have the memories that I want to keep? I hope the answers to all those questions are yes. Believe in yourself... Believe in that special someone, if you have one. Be yourself. Be happy.

Yours sincerely
Me (Now)

merry christmas

joy to the world.

today has been bad so far.

don't do this please.

I should go and lock myself up or something. I... sadden people so easily

and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing.

I don't look forward to school, but I suppose keeping busy would be a good way of escape...

may today be a good day for everyone else ^^

I shall go to bed.

and heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

~lynn

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

things to do by the end of the holidays.

1. do my theory of music homework (actually before 30/12/13)
2. read all my textbooks
3. play the piano A LOT
4. do my homework (mostly youtube videos 8D)
5. draw stuff
6. read all my library books and update my goodreads
7. make a folder and icon for 2014
8. watch zero no tsukaima COMPLETELY and feel terribly empty after that

I realise that I might really truly be an introvert. I like being alone. holidays are good for me because I basically hate people in general #lol but I love everyone too ^~^

LOUISE X SAITO is beautiful.

basically... I wish the holidays were longer (though this is, by far, the longest holidays EVER)

I should totally adjust my sleeping schedule == zzz

you know what annoys me? when there's a task at hand, and people only care about whether their friends are with them. aka, project work, and we're all supposed to split up to look for something, but member 1 and 2 insist going together. I mean, come on D: it annoys the HECK out of me because I want to insist going together with my friend too, but I prize completing the task more important, so I don't... am I doing it wrong?

though I have lots more to say (though it's hard to put my thoughts into words) I should go to bed

K NIGHTS.

lynnx

btw I think flavors.me is quite retarded. I have one though: flavors.me/lynnx

Monday, December 23, 2013

.

JERK.

Monday, December 16, 2013

omg.

THIS. IS. AWESOME. I managed to find all three of the glitch series in three different libraries on three different days.


BEAUTIFUL.

if you haven't guessed already.... this post is dedicated to books 8D

anyway.. the glitch series belongs to the genre... dystopia? (under science fiction)

'Dystopia is a form of literature that explores social and political structures. It is a creation of a nightmare world - unlike its opposite, Utopia, which is an ideal world. Dystopia is often characterized by an authoritarian or totalitarian form of government. It often features different kinds of repressive social control systems, a lack or total absence of individual freedoms and expressions, and a state of constant warfare or violence. Many novels combine both Dystopia and Utopia, often as a metaphor for the different directions humanity can take in its choices, ending up with one of the two possible futures.' definition taken from goodreads.

this book is about a society where everyone is a robot. like, almost literally.

other awesome books like these are... the hunger games (lol which is so mainstream), matched series (which I also have on my phone), restoring harmony is awesome too

glitch has a side of romance too. just how I like it.

I read horribly cliche books ._.

---

FANTASY. ROMANCE.

paranormal romance is awesome too. like the starcrossed series, currently reading on mah phone. that's more of greek gods like percy jackson and heroes of olympus (both of which are awesome).

or... lol there are sooooo many. angels and stuff like the halo series, or hush hush (though I haven't finished reading that one yet).

faries and stuff.. the wings series for example.

there are many many more. lots of them are logged in my goodreads shelves (though not sorted by genre) :P but not all (yeah I actually read a lot of weird books.)

aliens.... I don't really like but I think ultraviolet + quicksilver (which I'm currently reading) are really good not alienish alien books.

DRAGONS I was obsessed with for a long time, the inheritance cycle and the last dragon chronicles and and dragonkeeper and dragon rider.... all these are soooooo good.

I don't usually read vampire/werewolf/zombie books though. I just don't :P

oh and those life-after-death books are extremely good too, like the everafter and the everneath series and the hollow series and the hereafter series. sorry if that conflicts with your religious views

haha and those lame high school romance (or chick lit) books are awesome. I won't list any of them, that would be lame.

or those books about lives of messed up kids where their parents are drug addicts or drunkards or divorced or the kid's an orphan or a rape victim. those books are inspirational shit, I tell you. not even kidding.

and sometimes I go a little off-track and read books like the curious incident of the dog in the night time... which I promise is awesome. or classics :) CLASSICS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD OKAY. I love the swiss robinson family robinson or whatever. and books like tuesdays with morrie are great too.

though, being a library book reader like me, things can get a little frustrating. I find like bits and pieces of series (serieses? seriess?) at a time and it's kind of annoying, really. causes me to borrow more books than I can carry sometimes :/ just because I find 'those books from those series/serieses? that I NEED to read'

there's another thing that bothers me about series books :( the first book is great but the books behind that..... the awesomeness usually drops. A LOT. not all series are like that, but a lot are.

anyway that sums up my post about books :) if anyone actually reads my blog and wants to recommend me a book or a few books, don't hesitate to contact me by... idk lol facebook? ask.fm? goodreads? anything :)

(and I would totally really appreciate it if you 'accidentally' stumble upon some free ebook site and 'accidentally' send me the link to that website :D hey hey I'm not askin, just sayin, you know)

PEACE.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

long overdue.

List of things I'm afraid of:

1. I'm afraid of judgement.
2. I'm afraid of myself.
3. I'm afraid of how much I want.
4. I'm afraid of nothingness.
5. I'm afraid of imperfection.

sometimes. I just want to shout. for no reason. over the internet is fine too. but after I type it out... I delete it all. because I'm afraid of judgement, remember?