1st day alone in Sydney

I have a lot of thoughts, so I guess I should write them down.

Right now I'm sitting in my room (nicely vacuumed carpet, cleaned walls, dim orange lighting). I've not showered yet and I'm kinda sticky/sweaty.

One of my housemates just walked past my door, I think they were having dinner in the living room. Mabel and Will were cooking, I'm not sure if Darcy joined them. Yesterday, they did ask me if I wanted to join, but I didn't really want to. Told them I might be going to the Sydney Fish Market (which actually closes at 4pm... I know because I was there at 4pm). I'll only go out to shower after they head to bed. They're nice, I'm just awkward and social interactions take energy and I have none right now.

I'm pretty sure the only people who might read this are myself (in the future) and the closest people I'll share this with. So I'll type whatever comes to mind and see where this goes.

Freedom can be quite lonely. I'm not doing much until school starts (on 13 Feb) so I guess I'll feel quite alone for now. I might need a while to grow to be comfortable with this, but until then I might keep writing to give my emotions some space to exist without me forgetting.

(Random: I saw 3 cats on the way home from the supermarket! One was the cat I saw my first day here, and today I read his tag. His name is Fat Boi. The next one was a small cat in some art studio? The third was fluffy and shy. They'll be a huge source of motivation for me to want to go grocery shopping... I think.)

Forgetting... My memory really isn't the best. I don't know why. Am I just not trying hard enough to remember things? There are things I want to remember about this week in Sydney. Shopping at Coles, Kmart, etc. Cooking my first dinner. I'm already beginning to forget.

I've been feeling really tired lately. It might just be the anxiety of being away from family and friends in a new place. The closest I have felt to this might be when I moved into hall? But even then, home was near and friends were at least in the same (tiny) country. I admit that I'm really quite scared. I'm planning to put my brother's name and contact number in the back of my phone for emergencies. And maybe my own contact details as well, for people to contact me if I dropped my phone (and wallet) somewhere and they found it.

Or... The dim orange lighting might be making me sleepy.

I had more thoughts and feelings just now, but they've all kinda slipped away, bubbling up to the surface once in a while. I don't know if I'll ever be able to capture all of them by writing.

I'm currently reading Flowers for Algernon. I'm about a third through the book, and it's uncomfortable. I accidentally skipped to the end and I caught a bit of how it ends (also Shray explained the book to me so I kinda know that it ends this way). But I do wanna finish reading it.

I might go take a shower now. And then take a look at my past week of receipts and do some budgeting.

I might come back to write more. We'll see (the royal "we").