Time according to mac: 9.19.19am
What was I doing beforehand: reading blogs, reading messages.. rereading blogs... rereading messages....
Chats on facebook: nobody.
Listening to: my mum cooking or something. yes you know the noise of knives and stuff?
Status: sad. self-hating.
let's start with something more positive? :)
yesterday I asked 26 people for presents ._. 24 of them replied, and 22 said yes. if any of you are reading this blog now... (low chance though)
I was kidding D:
you don't actually have to give me anything >~<
but if you actually DO want to give me something, I'll accept it?... I think.
ra·tion·ale
Noun
A set of reasons or a logical basis for a course of action or a particular belief: "he explained the rationale behind the change".
if you give me something like a card or (if you're a guy) some girly thing, or something I really really want, then I'd accept it. if you give me something that you can use or operate or whatever, or it's 'The Hobbit' (book), it's yours. keep it :)
or give it to Jiawen. or give it to me to give it to Jiawen 8D
and now we come to this.
'I said I've never seen a person ask for a birthday present and nobody says they're rude or disrespectful. What I meant was, you're very blessed and I just want you to treasure what you have, not saying you don't.'
'you're a lucky person, lynn
I've never seen a person ask for a present and nobody says they're rude
learning points: don't ask for presents, and treasure what I have.
lol okay :) lesson learnt.
last year, I removed my birthday from facebook... and nearly nobody knows when my birthday is. so asking for a present so much in advance is also to see who actually remembered my birthday ._. I'm sorry if you're offended.
'I just want you to be happy as you're like a real sister to me.'
ahhhh and I want YOU to be happy as you're also like a real sister to me, except that I really don't know how the shit I keep upsetting, offending and insulting you >~<
moving on.
'I know you're reading this too, I just want to say I'm sorry for any misunderstandings that you and I might have... Please forgive me.'
forgiven. I'm sorry too. I'll probably be talking directly to you later...
not directed to me, but:
'What kind of friends don't talk to each other in real life and act like strangers?'
I tried my best. I really, really did. but then respecting of privacy, choice and whatnot came in then I couldn't like, force you two to talk -.- right.
moving on again...
'ok, nitez, luv ya'
I really really love you too... but...
sometimes, this 'love' is frustrating.
it holds certain responsibility.
it holds a promise.
and I'm not sure if I can give that promise to you.
because I genuinely don't know how to.
if you'd tell me, honestly, what you want, I might be able to.
but no.
'I'm okay'
when you aren't.
I mean, I understand if there are some things you don't want to tell me.
but if I've offended you in any way, please do tell me. I don't usually realize it.
I don't deserve to be your friend... I know too little about you.
I really don't deserve what I have... :<
fudgecakes.
imma go do math now. bye :) ... |
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